Friday, August 10, 2007

Rules of Engagement for Blogging

I can see the potential for some very bad things coming up in the near future. It seems that universes are colliding and worlds are being mixed that could ultimately be very bad for me. Now I am glad that Kelli, my wife, has finally decided to start her own blog, but I was thinking it was going to be about innocent Kelli thoughts, maybe a few pictures of the kids and the animals and that would be about it. Never in my most vivid nightmare did I ever imagine that I would be exposed as a ballroom dancer.

And now she has taken it to the next level, she has actually posted a picture of us ballroom dancing. She claims she's only doing all this because she didn't like the picture of her I posted on my blog to talk about her starting a blog, I liked the picture! As if that's not bad enough, she has now even taken it a step further by inviting bloggers or divers to come to ballroom dance night. Now she would probably tell you it's so that they could learn to ballroom dance too, but I realize that's not why anyone would actually show up.

I can already see the wheels turning in the evil Angelo's mind, he'd show up for ballroom dance with his camera in hand just to get a bunch of blackmail material, or something to use against me when the next Best Blog contest happens 10 years from now, when it is regularly scheduled. Actually he's not the only one I can see stooping to such a level, I think Bev might be perfectly capable of such a diabolical act as well. And then I can see Angelo stealing every picture that Kelli puts up with me in it for his "evil uses at a later time" folder. Like I said, I just see the potential for all kinds of trouble here.

And does this mean that I'm going to get some clowns coming up to me underwater trying to ballroom dance? And will Mike be waiting around the backside of a big rock with his video camera to capture the whole thing on film. And how much would Bruce be willing to pay for such footage so that he could force me to move the next diver & blogger meeting to Porky's instead of Oleai? The potential here for evil is unprecedented.

It's because of all this that I am proposing some Rules of Engagement for this potential earth shattering catastrophe.

#1 - Kelli is not allowed to post anymore ballroom dancing pics on her blog, and has to get all stories about ballroom dancing approved by me before they hit her blog.

#2 - Angelo is not allowed to ever read Kelli's blog for any reason whatsoever!

#3 - Kelli is also not allowed to tell any stories about me that I would consider embarassing or compromising.

#4 - Bev is not allowed to ever read Kelli's blog for any reason whatsoever, unless she bakes me a batch of cookies first, and let's me screen the blog entries she reads to make sure there is nothing there that can be used against me.

#5 - No one who goes to ballroom dance night is ever allowed to post any comments on Kelli's blog about anything having to do with me and dancing.

#6 - Jeff Turbitt can say whatever he wants, but only if he starts taking ballroom dance lessons with Cynthia.

#7 - Bruce Bateman can say whatever he wants, within reason, as long as he takes me out diving occasionally on his boat.

#8 - Angelo has me very afraid from his comment on Kelli's blog "yes". Therefore he's not only not allowed to read her blog, but he's also not allowed to ever contact her in any way, shape or form for the next 50 years.

I think that about covers it. Now if we can all just follow these few simple rules we should all get along just great.


Bruce A. Bateman said...

Great stuff, Harry.

Thanks for the carte blanche as long as we go boat divnig from time to time. I'm ready most any time.

See you tomorrow at 9A at the boat for BLOGDIVER II, the sequel without equal.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

PS: By way of further inducement, Harry, I would remind you that Porky's is SMOKELESS on Wednesdays.

That should be good for a radio plug, or better yet a short live discussion spot on one of your future shows. Not to mention honorable mention for hosting the occasional dive blogger meeting.

Mojitos abound!

Bev said...

hehhehe (evil laugh)