Saturday, August 11, 2007

While Others Blogged Evily, I Dove With Nudibranchs

While I could have sat at my computer all day Saturday fretting about what evil Kelli has unleashed on the internet, I decided since I couldn't stop certain people with far too much time on their hands anyway, I might as well go diving. Not that it was ever really much of a consideration, it's Saturday, duh, what else would I be doing? I ran into Dennis & Judy at the dive shop while I was waiting for someone to show up to fill my tank.

In case you haven't been a victim of the latest travesty on Saipan, it's that we have dive shops, but most of them are either closed during the day, or don't have anyone there who can actually fill your tank. Now if you only dive once a weekend, that's no big deal, you simply drop your tank off sometime during the week, and when the dive shop has someone show up who can actually fill tanks, they will fill it for you and having waiting for you Saturday morning. But when you occasionally sneak away during the week to go diving, and you do multiple dives each day of the weekend, it becomes problematic. But this really isn't the point, it's just a side vent, something that will be brought up at our next divers meeting next Wednesday at Oleai at 6:30.

But back to Dennis and Judy, they told me they went out on Friday and combed the Grotto looking for the Halgerda guahan and malesso nudibranch but didn't see a single one, and they looked hard. Could it be that the love fest was finally over? Had these elusive little critters gone back into hiding only to return again next July in time for the filming of another nudie porn flick. Mike is the one who had the audacity to do that. I was a little sad at hearing the news, but very happy that I got as many shots of them as I did before it was over. Sure enough when I went to the rope rock, there wasn't a single nudibranch out frolicking around. I thought it might indeed be over. But then when I went down to the flat table rock, I found this. These two frisky youngsters were obviously making out and into some heavy petting. From what I have learned about nudibranch mating over the last few weeks, I didn't manage to catch them in the act. They need to be side by side, head to tail in order for that to happen. These two were obviously not in the right position. The one on the right was obviously ready, and trying to send the right signals, by having his left edge looped up into an arch, that's what they look like when they are doing the deed. Since I don't know which was the boy or girl here, or if they even have distinct sexes or not, I don't know who was confused, but the one on the left was more concerned about necking than about procreating. I also managed to find another 6 Halgerda guahan in different spots around the Grotto.

But this all brings up some very interesting, and undoubtedly scientific questions. Why didn't Dennis and Judy see any of them? I happen to know they are both very observant, and I find it hard to believe they just overlooked them. Do these guys only come out when they hear the sound of my regulator? Am I just magically tuned into the times that they decide to come out and play? Do they only come out to play when there is someone with a camera in the vicinity because they are very bad, naughty, exhibitionist nudies? Or is it my shaved head? Is there something about the glow and glare of a freshly shaved head that attracts these amorous jello jigglers? Am I indeed the Pied Piper of nudibranch sex? Well, as you can see, much more scientific study needs to be conducted before any definitive conclusions can be reached, but not to worry, I plan on putting in many more hours down there playing peeping Harry.

But I believe there is a lesson to be learned here. Bald heads, or shaved heads do seem to have a certain charisma to them. Somewhere I saw a picture of my bald blogging buddy Jeff with 3 girls kissing his head at the blogger meet up last night at Porky's. The lesson here is this, I don't really think Kelli cares if I inspire nudibranchs to have sex, however, I think Cynthia might have a little more to say about it if Jeff's bald head is having any kind of effect on the human female population. The proof is there with the nudibranchs Cynthia, buy Jeff a wig before he starts more problems than he can possibly handle. And I also believe that she should probably make him start taking ballroom dancing lessons. I think she would really enjoy it and it would be good quality time for the two of them.

And to those of you spreading the vile ballroom dancing rumors on your blogs, SHAME on you. Get's your butts in the water on the weekends where they belong, not glued to a chair passing along malicious ballroom slander.